As a public service, here’s a summary of Super Bowl XL (also known as “The Big Game” for those who don’t have the proper licensing) for those who may have missed it.
- Stevie Wonder does Motown hits medley.
- Harrison Ford does…Dr. Seuss??? Is there nobody in the NFL who asks the question “Are you serious??”
- The Magic Refrigerator.
- The Whopperettes make one nice burger.
- Code Black? What’s that, and what does it have to do with the chick from Ringer?
- Nachos and beer are served.
- Touchdown! Oh wait, nevermind.
- The Seattle side of the family screams a collective “Bad call!!!”
- Field Goal: SEA 3, PITT 0.
- Streaker!
- Short guy thinks he’s Peter Graves.
- Tim Allen thinks he’s Tommy Kirk.
- Godaddy Girl!
- Touchdown! Oh wait, maybe not. OK, yes: SEA 3, PITT 7.
- The Seattle side of the family screams a collective “Bad call!!!”
- HALFTIME!
- Sprint cell phone with new Crime Deterrant feature.
- The Super Bowl makes us all just one big family. And here I thought it was Oprah.
- Hugh Heffenr watches Desperate Housewives? Who knew?
- Might as well face it, you’re addicted to Lost.
- Start Me Up!
- OMG, there’s people under the tongue!
- ABC-HD watermark permanently burns itself into plasma screens across America.
- Networks break away for local advertising. We here in Las Vegas were treated to the worst attorney ad evar, along with a preview of a news story about pole dancing as a weight-loss technique.
- Football players practice saying “I’m going to Disney World”…….for like the 5th time.
- Touchdown! SEA: 3, PITT 14.
- The Seattle side of the family does a collective Starbucks run.
- Retractable Sharpies!
- Clydesdales make me cry.
- Monster love results in Hummer. Yeah, and the Godaddy girl is too racy for the NFL.
- Touchdown! SEA:10, PITT: 14
- Donkeys in pants!
- Druid under the stairs?
- Touchdown! SEA: 10, PITT: 21
- MacGyver!
- herestobeer.com.
- Final Score: SEA: 10, PITT: 21
- The Seattle side of the family thinks that maybe it wouldn’t have been such a bad thing if the power had stayed cut off after all.